[i walk through house door]
my bro: how was church?
me: we decided not to go because she (my friend) got a run in her stockings, so we bought a gerbil from a shelter
my bro: .....ok
why do people insist on talking to me like im 4.. lady cocked her head to the side, stooped to my height (im not even that short) and put on her baby voice.. wtf? im about to get a college degree woman!
My friend reading plaza signs: furniture clearance; harbor freight tools. what they sell?
Me and her boyfriend: ..tools?!
cycle of exercise
When I don’t work out, I eat junk food; when I eat junk food I don’t feel like working out. But! When I’m sore from working out, I eat healthy; and when I eat healthy I work out. I just have to keep the right cycle going.
What I learned in boating school is....
nothing, but while I was at home today I got very easily distracted from my essay and learned a few random things: why there is a cow on elmer’s glue, and all of the jokes that go along with it, how super glue works, that a-RITH-me-tic is sometimes pronounced A-rith-MA-tic, how bad frostbite really is, that my cat will continue to eat the flea repellent off his back, even after he...
Sometimes I type in random words and phrases to...